


Tell Your Parents to Subscribe!

by dawninthemtn



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Absolutely No Blippi Knowledge Required, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, And Super Awkward with Adults, Ben is Awesome with Kids, Blippi AU, Brief Mentions of Past Drug Use/PTSD, Children's YouTube Star Kylo Ren, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Former Marine Ben, Reporter Rey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2019-11-18 03:18:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18112172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dawninthemtn/pseuds/dawninthemtn
Summary: Internet journalist Rey is assigned to do a story on children's YouTube sensation Kylo Ren, aka her nephew's idol. When she meets him, she realizes all those weird online moms who thirst after him might be onto something after all.The Blippi AU absolutely no one asked for.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Most of you probably have no idea who Blippi is, but he's a children's YouTube star my three-year-old is obsessed with. My girlfriends and I were talking about what he might be like off-camera (yes, my life is a little sad), and like many situations I find myself in these days, an idea for a Reylo AU was born.
> 
> This is one of the most absurd things I've ever done, but I hope you enjoy this silly story. 
> 
> *No prior Blippi knowledge is required, I promise.*

_< She has not said one thing that couldn’t have just been sent in an email>_

_< Well obviously she needed to get us in here to show off her My Little Pony hair>_

Rey looked up from sneakily reading her phone, trying not to laugh. From across the room, she made eye contact with her friend Kaydel before quickly averting her eyes before their boss Amilyn could tell that they were texting each other.

She wouldn’t put it above Amilyn to take her phone and read her texts out loud, like a sixth grade teacher reading notes to the class.

And this time it wasn’t detention at stake. It was unemployment.

Although she had been at resistance.com for three years, she still couldn’t believe how lucky she was to have her position as a staff writer. Maybe she wasn’t using her hard-earned journalism degree to expose corporate malfeasance or political scandals, but the large array of mindless topics from pop culture to Disney listicles that Resistance offered meant that the website got plenty of clicks. Sometimes she couldn’t believe she got paid to write about garbage she would be talking about with her friends anyway.

And garbage she wrote. Any given recap of _The Bachelor_ that she posted generated way more web traffic than her thoroughly researched long-form article on gender pay gaps in Hollywood ever did, which was a depressing fact but one that kept her churning out harmless drivel.

Amilyn was consistently pleased with the ad revenue Rey’s articles brought in, and Rey didn’t want to upset her boss in this useless staff meeting. But it was still painful to be sitting on like ten different fictional characters that her newly pink-haired boss reminded her of and not be able to share them with Kaydel.

Later.

For now, she refocused her attention on Amilyn’s words instead of her hair and tried to listen as she droned on about potential corporate tie-ins.

This topic prompted Poe Dameron, their political correspondent (for the more refined Resistance reader) to argue with Amilyn about the potential harm of tricking their readers into reading advertising material veiled as impartial articles. Rey took the moment to share a significant glance with Kaydel. Any time Poe and Amilyn got into it, the staff was stuck in there for at least another half hour.

Most of the writers telecommuted, and Rey had gotten used to being at home with her fridge handy.

She was wondering how loud it would be if she opened the wrapper of the granola bar she had in her purse when Amilyn abruptly changed the subject.

“K, team, we have been given exclusive interview rights with Kylo Ren. Has anyone heard of him?”

Rey sat straight up, granola bar forgotten. (For now.)

“The YouTube guy?”

Everyone looked at Rey after her excited outburst. Amilyn flipped to a slide on her powerpoint showing Kylo Ren dressed up in his silly costume, a bright blue Oxford shirt, orange suspenders and bowtie, giant orange glasses, and a hideous orange hat. A few people snickered.

Rey shrank into her seat a little.

“He’s like my nephew’s hero,” she added defensively. “He’s _four_. We watch Kylo Ren when I babysit.”

“You’re not the only ones,” said Amilyn, drawing the room’s attention back to herself. “He’s got millions of subscribers, and his videos have billions of views.”

“And he has merchandise, and music albums,” added Rey, feeling suddenly shameless in her Kylo Ren knowledge. “Jayden and I listen to his stuff on Spotify all the time in my car. I have his fire truck song in my head constantly.”

“Sorry, who is this?” asked one of the writers.

“He has a YouTube channel for young children,” explained Rey. “He’s kind of like a hyperactive Mr. Rogers. He teaches kids about all kinds of things in his videos, goes to the grocery store, on airplane rides, that sort of thing. It’s annoying but my nephew eats it up.”

Amilyn nodded at her, smiling. “We know that a decent portion of our readership are young moms. An article about the man behind the character might be pretty big. The good news for us is he lives here in Chandrila.”

“Obviously Rey should do the article,” piped in Kaydel. “Unless there are any other Kylo Ren stans in here?” She looked around the room and everyone chuckled.

“All right Rey,” said Holdo. “See me after so I can get you in touch with his team.”

 

\----------------------------

 

“Aunt Rey! Aunt Rey!”

Jayden yanked open the front door to let her in and Rey scooped him up, giving him a kiss on his cheek before setting him back down.

“How was school today, buddy?”

“Good!”

“What did you learn about?”

“Ladybugs!”

“ _Ladybugs_?”

“Yeah!”

Rey walked Jayden to the kitchen as he jabbered on about his preschool lesson. Finn, Rey’s best friend and former foster brother, was bent over the stove, stirring something.

“Hey, Rey!” he called out without looking up.

“Hey! What are you making? It smells great!”

“It’s just spaghetti. You’re so easy to please.”

She laughed and sat down, where Finn’s new girlfriend Rose was setting the table.

“Hey Rey,” she said, smiling at her.

“Hey.”

Jayden thrust a picture of a ladybug in her face. Rey was more than happy with the interruption.

“That’s awesome, buddy,” she said, holding one half of it. “Did you paint this?”

“With my fingers!”

“With your _fingers?!”_ Rey loved responding to Jayden’s sweet enthusiasm.

“Can I see it?”

Rey and Jayden both looked at Rose, who was smiling nervously. Rey’s fingers tightened on the picture.

“I’m showing Rey,” said Jayden petulantly.

“Jayden, show Rose your picture,” said Finn, walking closer to the table. “She wants to see it too!”

Rey plucked the picture from Jayden’s fingers and wordlessly handed it over to Rose. She oohed and ahhed, and Finn returned to the cooking, satisfied.

Once they were finishing their dinner, Rose turned to an extremely messy Jayden.

“Hey Jayden, guess what?”

He looked up at her as he slurped a noodle sloppily.

“Your daddy has to work tomorrow, and I’m going to take you to the zoo! Just you and me! Won’t that be fun?”

Jayden’s eyes lit up and he looked up at his dad, who nodded encouragingly. Jayden turned to Rey.

“Guess what?” he told her like she wasn’t sitting two feet away. “I’m going to the zoo with Rose!”

Rey did her best to look excited, but the sound of him saying “Rose” the same way he said “Rey,” with a _w_ sound instead of an _r_ kept reverberating in her ears. Jayden and Rose talked about their trip and the different animals that they would see.

Rose promised to get him a snow cone, making him practically bounce out of his chair with excitement.

“Hey Jayden, do you want to meet Kylo Ren?”

The overly loud words flew from Rey’s mouth. Jayden stopped bouncing and looked directly at Rey, eyes wide.

“ _Kylo Wen?”_

“Yep! Aunt Rey knows Kylo Ren, and I’m going to go see him and you get to come too.”

“Daddy! Daddy! I get to meet Kylo Ren!”

“Yeah, I heard that.” Finn didn’t even bother to sound excited. Rose stood and cleared her dishes, claiming she had to get going to make her bartending shift on time. After shooting Rey a look that could kill, Finn jumped up to help Rose and see her to her car. While he was out, Rey took Jayden to the sink and cleaned his hands and face. She was washing his Lightning McQueen placemat and bowl when Finn walked back in and addressed his son.

“Hey buddy, why don’t you play a game in your room?”

“On Daddy’s phone?”

“Yep, on Daddy’s phone.”

Jayden happily scurried off, triumphantly holding the ultimate Holy Grail, and slammed the door to his bedroom shut. The only sound in the kitchen for a long moment was the running water.

“Rey, what was that at dinner?”

Rey shut off the water, turned around, and wiped her hands on a rag.

“I got a big assignment at work,” she said brightly. “I’m doing a story on Kylo Ren. I get to interview him at his house. I thought Jayden would love meeting him!”

“That’s really cool and all, but we both know I’m not talking about what you said. We’re talking about _when_ you said it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I thought of it, and wanted to tell him…”

“It didn’t have anything to do with him being excited to spend time with Rose, did it?” Finn cut her off harshly.

Rey didn’t answer, and Finn sank into a chair.

“Rey…” His tone was weary.

She cautiously took a seat across from him. After a long, painful moment, he looked up at her.

“We both know how much Jayden and I owe you. If it weren’t for you, I’d probably still be strung out on some street corner, and Jayden would be off in foster care, facing the kinds of places we did.” He shuddered. “But I was lucky enough to have a sister who managed to beat the odds and make something of herself, even when I was another pathetic statistic. I’ll never be able to repay you for that.”

Rey opened her mouth, but he held up a hand.

“Please let me talk,” he said. “The way you took on baby Jayden, when I could barely hold it together. You, a college student, trying to finish out your scholarship, shouldering all that responsibility, helping me get clean… We were so lucky to have you. We _are_ so lucky to have you.

But I’ve been clean for four years, Rey. I have a job, an apartment, everything you wanted for me all along. Before Rose, I hadn’t put myself out there since…back then. But I’m ready for that now. And when I date, or even, I don’t know, get married, to Rose or whoever else, that woman is going to be Jayden’s mom.”

Rey cringed involuntarily. He scowled at her.

“What do you want from me? Do you want me to celibate forever? Or end up with someone who’s not going to connect with Jayden? Do you want him to have an evil stepmother?”

Rey looked at the table.

“You will always be his special Aunt Rey. Jayden adores you. But Rose is trying. And she’s trying with you, too. And if you want to stay in our lives, you need to let her. It’s hard enough dating with a son. I don’t need an unsupportive sister, too.”

Rey couldn’t remember a time Finn had spoken to her like that. As much as his words hurt, she had to admire him a little.

“All right.”

“All right?” Finn narrowed his eyes at her.

“Yes, I’m sorry. I’ll be nicer to Rose.”

“You’d really like her, you know. But of course you intimidate the hell out of her.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, how would you like it if your boyfriend had such an involved best friend?”

Rey laughed humorlessly. “Oh, right, my boyfriend. That boyfriend who definitely exists.”

“Hey, when you find him, you’ll be happy I’m not single. Whoever he is might not be so keen on you hanging out with me if I were single.”

“You’re my brother.”

“We’re clearly not biologically related, Rey.”

“What? I think the resemblance is staggering.”

The two were laughing when they were interrupted by a tiny voice.

“Aunt Rey?”

Both Finn and Rey’s heads whipped to the hallway, where Jayden had his head poked out of his room. He held out Finn’s phone, which was displaying a Kylo Ren video about colors.

“When do I get to meet Kylo Ren?”

“Next week, bud.”

“How long is that?”

“Umm…” Rey thought for a minute. “Seven sleeps.”

“Okay!” Jayden ran back into his room.

“How did he get on to a YouTube video?” Rey asked.

“It’s scary how well he can use my phone.”

“Better be careful. Don’t want him to Momo’d.”

“Didn’t you write a whole article about how Momo was a hoax?”

“Yes, but there’s still messed up stuff out there.”

“You’re right, but he only watches Kylo videos, and they’re harmless. You know, if you’re so concerned about it, you can be the one who goes in and takes it from him and starts his bedtime.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “Well played,” she said.

Later, once Jayden had finally fallen asleep after three bedtime stories, Rey and Finn relaxed on his couch, Rey not keen to return to her empty apartment. They were both mindlessly scrolling through their phones when Finn spoke up.

“What do you think Kylo Ren is like in real life?”

“I guess I’ll find out soon enough. Here—” She gestured at his phone. “Help me Google him. I need to start gathering stuff to prepare my interview. See what’s out there already.”

After a minute, Finn scoffed. “Listen to this. Here are the Google auto-fill suggestions for Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren _real name_ , Kylo Ren _hot_ , Kylo Ren _net worth_ , Kylo Ren _fire truck.”_

“His name is Ben Solo,” said Rey, remembering what Amilyn had told her earlier. “But click on net worth.”

“I clicked on ‘hot.’”

“Oh my gosh, you are such a weirdo.”

“What?” asked Finn, affronted. “You aren’t curious?”

Rey shook her head, and typed “Kylo Ren” into her own browser.

“Wow,” said Finn. “There’s a lot of thirsty moms out there. Listen to this Reddit thread – ‘Is it just me or do you find Kylo Ren seriously sexy?’”

Rey laughed and couldn’t resist adding “hot” to her own search. “Here’s one, Finn. It’s a twitter thread all about his biceps.”

“Listen, this lady comments, ‘I just want to take him to the back of that play area and…’ Oh my _gosh_.” Finn’s face was utterly horrified.

“I hope I can get him to pose in regular clothes. Looks like a lot of women are clamoring to see what he looks without the hat and glasses. Nothing’s even popping up when I Google Ben Solo. He’s always in costume.”

“I think these women want to see him without the hat, glasses, _and_ his clothes. What’s with these people? Are they not getting any from their husbands?”

“I guess when you’re stuck watching kids shows all day it’s nice to have some eye candy,” defended Rey. “And I’ve never given it a lot of thought before, but now that I’m thinking on it, he does have a nice body.”

“Gross, Rey. Hey!” Finn sat up. “Do you suppose Kylo Ren has sex?”

“Ew! What is wrong with you, you perv?”

“What?” Finn shrugged.

“I don’t know, I guess so. I mean he’s an adult.” She squinted her eyes mischievously. “Should I ask?”

“For all we know, he’s dating someone or is married.” Finn shook his head. “Poor whoever-they-are.”

“Why? He’s loaded.”

“Yeah, but imagine being around alllll that energy allll the time.”

“True.”

“I just can’t picture him having sex.”

“Then _don’t_!”

“Sexy biceps aside, wouldn’t you always be worried that he’d randomly, just…” Finn switched to an annoying high-pitched voice. “And _here_ kids is the _vagina._ ” He made the sound effect that it played whenever Kylo introduced a new word or concept.

“Ahhh, stop, stop!” cried Rey, laughing as she covered her ears.

“That’s V-A-G-I…”

“Stop!” Rey threw a pillow at him. “Now that’s all I’m going to be able to think about when I interview him!”

“You’re welcome,” said Finn, smirking. “So next Saturday, huh? And they said it’s okay to bring a kid to your interview?”

Truthfully, Rey hadn’t passed it by anyone at work or on Kylo’s team. She had just blurted it out to Jayden at the dinner table without thinking first.

“I’ll take care of it,” she told Finn with fake confidence. She’d figure it out and hope that Amilyn just never heard about what might be a little unprofessional.

 

\----------

 

In the end, it turned out okay. Rey called Kylo’s manager, who assured her that Kylo would be happy to meet her nephew. So after a long week of researching everything she could about Kylo Ren, Youtube, SEO, and, everything else she could possibly think of, she, Finn, and Jayden packed in her car and drove towards Kylo’s – no Ben’s – home.

His house was nestled by trees at the end of a cul de sac of an upscale neighborhood, set pretty far apart from the other homes. They pulled into a long, curvy driveway. Finn got Jayden out of his car seat and promised to play in the yard until Rey was ready for them.

“Good luck with Captain Crazy,” said Finn as he chased after Jayden, who had taken off like a rocket once he was released from his shackles.

“I could say the same to you!” she called back.

She straightened her clothes and approached the door. While she waited, she shuffled her notes, feeling extra jittery. She had been sure to have extra coffee that morning, certain that she would need all the artificial energy she could muster to deal with a man who could act like the fact that strawberries were red was the most exciting thing on Earth.

She was greeted at the door by a stately blond woman, maybe the tallest she had ever met.

“Hi Ms. Niima,” said the woman, extending her hand warmly. “I’m Phasma, Kylo’s media manager. We spoke on the phone.”

“It’s good to meet you,” answered Rey. She followed Phasma into the cavernous entryway.

She wasn’t sure what type of décor she had been expecting from a man who wore bright orange glasses and sneakers, but the understated earthy tones of his home were not it.

It looked like everything had been done by an interior designer, and as Rey considered all of the things she had learned over the week about his estimated revenue earnings, she guessed it probably had been.

Phasma led her to a living room and indicated for Rey to have a seat while she grabbed Kylo. Rey sank into one of the comfiest leather couches she had ever sat in and got situated as she waited.

After a moment, there was a little cough.

“Ms. Niima?”

Rey snapped her head up to take in her first look at Kylo Ren in the flesh. Only, this wasn’t Kylo Ren in front of her.

It was in the sense that he had the same black hair that she had seen peeking out from his hat. But now seeing it flowing unencumbered made Rey realize what a crime it was that he ever covered it up at all.

He had those same thick arms, but now they were free to be properly ogled in a short sleeve black tshirt.

He had the same face, although now it wasn’t half covered by oversized orange glasses, allowing her to fully take in his unusual features.

But the biggest difference between Kylo Ren and the man standing before her wasn’t in appearance or dress, she realized.

It was in his stance.

Instead of eagerly staring straight at her like he would the camera, he was looking at the floor. She approached him to shake his hand, and he engulfed it his much larger one and barely nodded.

“Should we, um, sit?” he asked, rubbing his neck with one hand and awkwardly indicating the couch with the other.

He managed to catch her eyes for one split second before looking down again, giving her just enough time to take in their molten chocolate color.

At that moment, Rey realized two things.

One: This interview was going to go wildly differently than she had predicted.

Two: Those thirsty moms on the Internet just may have been onto something.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The interview

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the support on chapter one to all of you, whether you know Blippi or not. <3

Fully expecting to be bombarded by a lightning storm of high energy, Rey was stunned as she sat back down on the soft leather and observed the man who sat across from her.

He was giving her an opportunity to take him in, as he stared at his hands, clearly waiting for her to make the first move. He looked tall even as he sat, a little rigid, like he was dreading the idea of even being in the same room as her. She wondered how she could have possibly offended him before even speaking.

Rey pulled out her phone and turned on her recording app.

“I hope you’re okay with me recording this,” she said. His eyes raised just enough to take in the phone in her lap.

“Yeah, yeah, that’s fine,” he said.

The room fell silent again.

“Thank you for agreeing to this article,” she finally said. “It’s really nice of you to take time out…”

“I didn’t.”

“What?”

“I didn’t agree. I mean, whatever, it’s fine, but it was Phasma’s idea. She set everything up.”

“Oh.” Rey couldn’t count the amount of interviews she had conducted over her career, but this one was already throwing her off.

It wasn’t just his lack of social graces. It was his voice. He was a little rude, but his tone was rich and lovely. It was so unlike the voice he used when addressing all the kids, all enthusiastic and giggly.

“Well,” said Rey, “thank you all the same.”

He didn’t answer. Most people Rey had met in entertainment were so egotistical that at the outset of interviews, she had to rein them in to even get her questions in.

But it was obvious that Ky- no, Ben - was here to answer her questions and little else.

She grabbed her notes and shuffled them.

“So, Mr. Solo – “

“You can call me Ben.”

“Oh, okay.” Rey couldn’t help but smile a bit. “Well, then, you need to call me Rey.”

For the briefest moment, Ben met her eyes again. His mouth quirked the tiniest bit.

“I have to say,” he said, scratching the back of his neck again. “I thought you were a man until I saw you. Phasma only told me a Rey Niima was coming. I’ve, uh, never heard of a woman named Rey. I like it.”

Ben’s eyes had left hers again, so she felt free to smile widely. “Thank you. I get that it’s a little unusual, but it’s not like I picked it, you know?”

His mouth quirked again, and she had to take a deep breath to control her heart, which had decided to speed up a bit.

Kylo had a big, goofy smile that he used to great effect time and time again on his videos, but Ben’s tiny private smile was something new and frankly, adorable.

“So why don’t you tell me a little about yourself,” she prompted. “Anything. Where you’re from, your background, that sort of thing. There’s no right or wrong, and I promise to give you more time to answer than you give the kids on your videos.”

He looked up at that and raised his eyebrows.

“Did your research, huh?”

“Yes, but I’ve actually been watching your videos for months! My nephew is obsessed with you. Trust me, I know your stuff inside and out.”

“Really? What’s his favorite video?”

This was the most engaged Ben had looked since walking in, and it threw her for a moment.

“Oh! Um, he loves any of your videos about construction vehicles. We have your vehicles album on repeat in my car. Excavator and Fire Truck are his favorite songs, probably. I think I could sing them in my sleep.”

He chuckled, a low rumble, and looked down again.

“And he loves the videos where you open mystery boxes. I think by now he knows exactly what you’re going to pull out, but I guess when you’re four, it’s still exciting.”

She suddenly worried about the level of communication between Ben and Phasma, and took a deep breath before speaking again, slowly.

“Actually, um, your manager told me I could bring him along and you’d…meet him for a second?” Her voice sped up. “I swear it can be like thirty seconds. He’s outside with his dad. But, don’t worry, it’s –”

Ben lifted his hand.

“Yeah, I think she did mention that. It’s no problem. I’d love to meet him.”

“Thank you! He’s going to freak. I’m totally his favorite person right now. Well, besides you of course.”

Ben laughed softly. “Like I said, it’s no problem. I love kids.”

“Okay, so tell me where your love of kids comes from. Are you married? Kids of your own? Nieces, nephews?”

She had already glanced at his empty left hand (she was only human), but that didn’t really mean anything. Man, she was pathetic. Right out of the gate she was asking questions that weren’t on her script. She only hoped the way she was as sneaky as she was trying to be.

“Oh, no, no kids or nieces or nephews,” he said. “I’m actually an only child, I had no cousins, and I was kind of, um, shy growing up so I didn’t have any real experience with kids until recently.”

So he didn’t exactly answer the question she was really interested in, but she had at least found a bit of interview rhythm.

“What happened recently?”

Ben clasped his hands in his lap and rubbed his fingers together anxiously. He gazed down thoughtfully and was silent for a couple minutes.

“So, I’m from here,” he started. “Born and raised. But after high school, I joined the Marines.”

He wasn’t exactly looking at her, but she still nodded encouragingly, trying to hide her surprise. If someone had told her fifteen minutes before that _Kylo Ren_ had been a Marine, she never would have believed them.

Was she supposed to thank him for his service? She wasn’t sure, and when she had decided she should, he spoke again.

“I was in the Marines for a…while. I finally left after my third TOD in Afghanistan. You can only take so much, you know? So this was a few years ago, and I returned home to Chandrila for the first time in years. I was… a little… lost. I didn’t know what to do with my time. I had no real plan, no civilian skills. And I kind of hated everyone. Either people were all enthusiastic about my military background, and wanted to talk about it all the time. Or sometimes they’d tell me how lucky I was to be home safe, injury-free.”

He shook his head.

“But the worst people, the ones I hated the most, were the ones who understood the unseen injuries that people like me were left with.”

Rey tried not to let her wince show. An hour ago she thought Ben would talk her ear off about SEO strategies, and here he was talking about PTSD.

He looked up at her.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know if any of this is relevant.”

“It’s okay,” she reassured him. “We’ve got plenty of time. I’ll do all the work later, picking what I want. And,” she added, “You don’t need to tell me anything you’re uncomfortable with. And at any time, you can ask me to leave something out. Even after today, you can call and ask me.”

She wasn’t sure she had ever told anyone else that.

He nodded and looked at his clasped hands again. “Okay. Thanks. Well, anyway, it was those people, the ones who… _understood_ , who treated me with kid gloves, like I was a bomb about to go off at any moment. I know everyone meant well, but it was so hard to be around them. And it’s not like I’m that great with people, you know, in the first place.”

His voice drifted off thoughtfully. It was a little uncomfortable to watch him run his fingers through his hair like the topic was painful to him, but Rey had learned in her time interviewing people to just let them talk. So they sat in silence again until he continued.

“While I was away, my mom had had a 180 career change. She had opened up a daycare for a number of reasons, which was really random. But one day, after I had been home for a little bit, she asked me to bring something to her. I don’t remember what. But I went to her daycare, and the kids were fascinated with this big, scary man who showed up.”

His face broke into a tiny smile, and Rey couldn’t help but smile in return.

“I still had my military haircut, and this one little girl came up to me and said, ‘your ears are huge.’”

Rey clasped a hand over her mouth.

“Kids are the worst,” she said.

He chuckled. “Yep, but it was the most honest thing anyone had said to me since the day I had returned to US soil. I remember my mom froze, but I just started laughing. I thought about it all night, and it always made me smile. I mean, she wasn’t wrong, you know?”

He looked at Rey and gave her a small smirk. She smiled back, and his own smile grew a little bit wider in return. Almost immediately, he ducked his head again and started mindlessly clasping and unclasping his watch.

“So I asked my mom if I could help out at the daycare. She was shocked. I mean, when had I ever shown any interest in children? But we completed all the necessary background checks and whatever else, and I got started. I loved it. When I was with the kids, I could be someone I wasn’t, you know? I actually created the character of Kylo Ren for when I would teach their lessons. I loved making them laugh, and I felt like I was good at it.”

She could believe that.

“It was the best I had felt in months, years even. At first, some of the parents were a little uncertain about this large, male ex-Marine hanging out with their kids all day, like I was going to randomly go postal on a room full of toddlers. But they came around. And it was actually one of the moms who suggested I film videos.”

“When was that?”

“That was about four and a half years ago. She told me that YouTube had a bunch of videos for little kids with millions of views, but she thought they were garbage. So I looked into it, and found a bunch of unboxing videos and people playing with play-doh or whatever, but nothing educational or anything like what I was doing with the kids at school.”

Rey pulled out her notes.

“The earliest videos I found on your channel were from four years ago,” she said. “Obviously they’re pretty rudimentary. Did you do them yourself? What was that process like?”

“No, one of the parents at the school had a brother who was studying to be a videographer. I paid him peanuts to help with those first few videos.”

He paused and looked up at Rey. She really needed to calm herself down whenever he met her eyes. His eyes were just so pretty and she couldn’t look away.

“Look,” he said. “It’s barely fair that I’m the one talking to you when I’m really just a guy who got incredibly lucky. That videographer? He’s still with me. He was a college student when we started out and now he’s a master. My costume? Some mom from the daycare made the hat and glasses for our first videos. It’s everyone else who deserve all the credit. I built a team up from people I just kind of knew. Phasma is honestly the one who’s done the most. She was a friend of a friend who needed a job.” He shrugged. “I wouldn’t be anywhere without the people I work with.”

Rey took a moment to jot down the word “humble” on her notepad. She glanced at some of her sample interview questions.

“I saw on your Twitter…” she began.

“That’s not me.”

“What?”

“The Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, whatever else Phasma does, that’s not me. It’s her. I do look, sometimes. I like to see pictures that parents post of their kids enjoying our stuff. But I’m glad I don’t have to do most of it.” He held out his hands. “I have big thumbs. It makes it tough to use my phone.”

Rey burst out laughing.

“You don’t want to do your social media because you have big thumbs?”

He shrugged, and Rey laughed harder.

“Well, okay, I guess that’s fair,” she said. “So your team handles most of those logistics. How involved are you in your outside ventures? The merchandising, for instance? I’ve seen that you sell tshirts, glasses, hats, dolls, and so on.”

He shook his head. “Very little. I know I’m supposed to hock that shit on my videos…sorry, that _stuff_ on my videos…can you edit that? Parents are weird about that. Like I might start cussing out kids while I’m teaching colors.”

“You got it.”

“Thanks. Anyway, I have to sell it, but it’s not my favorite part of the gig. I like teaching kids. I’m not a businessman, but I have to realize that this is a business. I have a whole team that needs to be paid. We have to have revenue. YouTube is always finding ways of squeezing earnings out of people who create content, so we have to have alternate revenue streams.”

Rey looked around the room. “Well, excuse me for saying, but you’re obviously doing something right. Are you able to tell me what your videos bring in in ad revenue in, say, a month?”

With his head tipped low, he pursed his lips into a wry smile and shook his head. “I probably shouldn’t divulge that. I’d probably butcher it anyway.”

“All right,” she said, making a mental note to just incorporate the estimates she had put together through her research. The numbers were pretty astounding.

“You certainly have plenty of fans,” she continued. “I saw that your most recent video, posted only a few days ago, already has millions of views. I guess you’re lucky that your audience watches them over and over. Maybe I should write for kids. I don’t think my adult readers ever come back to one of my articles for a second look-over.”

“What kinds of things do you write?”

“Umm…nothing particularly refined, I’m afraid. I write mostly about pop culture, Internet memes, tv recaps, that sort of thing.”

“You’re talking to a guy who sings about dinosaurs to a camera.”

“K, you win,” she said, giggling. “I’m sorry, but I have to say, your videos are kind of annoying.”

He laughed outright. “They’re not for you.”

“But I still have to watch them all day!”

“But your son likes them, and that’s what’s important, right?”

“No, he’s my nephew.”

“Oh, sorry.”

Was she absolutely insane, or did his eyes flick the slightest bit towards her hands?

She slid her left hand up a little from where it was resting. She could make it a little easier for him. Just in case.

“You must be pretty involved if you’ve seen so much of my stuff,” he said.

“Yes, I’ve been watching him since he was a baby, trying to help my brother out. He’s a single dad. These days I watch him a couple days a week to help diffuse the costs of daycare.”

“That’s kind of you,” he said. “They’re very lucky to have you.”

“Honestly, I’m lucky to have them,” she said. “They’re really all I have in the world. I was…alone for a long time.”

“It’s hard to be alone. I’m glad you’re not anymore.” Ben’s voice was soft, and while he didn’t meet her eyes, she could feel the weight in his words.

Maybe he got it. Somehow, she felt like he did. Some crazy compulsion was telling her to reach for his hand and tell him he wasn’t alone either.

This was absurd.

Shaking her head, she said quickly, “Sorry, enough about me. This is about you!”

He worked his lips and slid back in his seat a little.

“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, okay. Go ahead.”

She grabbed her notes and shuffled them in her lap.

“What would you say is your favorite part of the job?”

“Umm…” He took a second to slide a hand through his hair. It messed with some of his product, leaving his hair a little rumpled. Rey looked back at her notes and pretended to jot something down.

Anything to avoid how obviously she was staring at the single piece of hair that had fallen over his eyebrow.

It was a good thing that he sucked at eye contact.

“Meeting the kids, definitely,” he said finally. “I’ve done a few meet and greets here and there, and I love seeing how excited the kids get. The parents I could do without.”

His head snapped up and he met her eyes frantically.

“I mean,” he stammered. “Is there any way you could leave that out?”

She giggled at his distress. “Let’s just call that off the record, eh?” She winked at him, and his eyes got wider before they fell to his lap again.

“While we’re off the record,” she continued, “You should know that some of those parents are fans of yours, too. The women, especially.”

Some unseen force was dictating her every unprofessional move, but it was worth it to see his hands shake so violently that he actually took his watch off to work it through his fingers.

She prayed that Amilyn would never get her hands on this recording.

“I don’t, um, know about that,” he said, his voice a little strained. “I try to stay away from that kind of thing.”

“So no moms are sliding into your DMs?”

“I have no idea what that means.”

She needed to take mercy on him, and fast. She was certain he was going to snap that probably very expensive watchband.

Not that she’d have any idea about that.

“Let’s just say that you have your female fans. And honestly, it’s not hard to see why.”

What was wrong with her today? She had gone from sharing personal trauma with this stranger, her _interviewee,_ to shamelessly flirting with him in minutes.

But his little loose strand of hair was vibrating the slightest bit. It was so adorable she couldn’t stand it.

She was going to get so, so fired.

“Umm…”

“Should we get back on record?” she asked cheerfully, like nothing she had done had been remotely off base.

“Uh, yeah,” he said. “What else did you want to know?”

By some small miracle, the rest of the interview proceeded as normal. They chatted about SEO, production, overseas expansion, and future plans.

His sex appeal never came up again.

Unfortunately.

For her, anyway.

Finally, they ended on the topic that got Ben more excited than anything – his foundation. He talked at length about the various veterans’ organization his foundation donated to, and what they had been able to accomplish with his funds.

He even managed to meet her eyes a few times during his spiel.

He admitted that the only reason he had agreed to the interview in the first place was for an opportunity to put in a plug.

She promised she would.

And then it was over.

“Well, Ben,” she said. “I think we’ve got it. Phasma told me she arranged the shoot with my photographer for a couple days from now.”

He nodded absently.

“K, and if you think of anything you would like to add or take out, you can let me know. Here’s my cell.” She scribbled her number on the bottom of one of her papers, tore it off, and handed it to a now standing Ben.

He took it without as much as grazing her fingers and stuffed both hands in his pockets.

“So, um, if you give me a few minutes to get into my Kylo gear, I can meet your nephew?”

She smiled. “Yes, that would be so great! I’ll go get them, and we’ll be right out front. Thank you, Ben.”

He bit his bottom lip, and seemed frozen for a second, before stalking out of the room without another word.

She sank back into the couch to gather her wits before moving on to her things. What _was_ that?

She didn’t have time to sufficiently ruminate, though, if she wanted to beat Ben outside. She packed up and headed back out of the house the way she came in.

“Hey Jayden,” she called out, getting his attention from across the driveway. “You excited to meet Kylo Ren?”

“Yeah!”

Honestly, that made two of them. 


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet Kylo Ren

Jayden was bouncing with excitement. Rey and Finn watched affectionately as he ran around Ben’s manicured front yard, yelling “Kylo Ren! Kylo Ren!” over and over.

“I’m happy you finally came out,” said Finn. “I was running out of ways to distract him. This is like the greatest day of his life.”

“Ben just has to change and he said he’d be right out. So he won’t have to wait much longer.”

“Ben, huh? This whole thing is surreal. What was it like, meeting Crazy Pants Kylo?”

“Finn, it was wild. He’s not--”

They were interrupted by the sound of the front door opening and closing behind them. Both Finn and Rey turned around to see Kylo Ren in the flesh.

He looked just like he did in his videos. His hair was criminally hidden beneath a bright orange and blue newsboy cap, his pretty brown eyes were covered with large orange frames, and he had traded in his dark clothing for his uniform of a blue oxford shirt and orange bowtie and suspenders.

Rey couldn’t help but notice with some glee that he still took the time to roll up his sleeves to his elbows, exposing his impressive forearms.

She had never noticed them in any of his videos, but now she realized she must have been insane, or blind.

“Look who’s here, Jayden!” called out Finn, who was holding up his phone in video mode.

Jayden looked up from his spot in the grass and caught sight of his giant hero. Kylo-Ben smiled and waved at him, sending Jayden straight to a hiding place behind his dad’s legs.

“ _Buddy_ ,” said Finn, sounding exasperated. He clicked his camera off and tried to pry his son’s arms off his calves. “Kylo Ren is so nice to come meet you. Don’t you want to see him?”

Jayden squeezed Finn’s legs tighter.

Rey gave Ben an apologetic smile and knelt down next to Jayden.

“Don’t worry, bud, Kylo is our friend!” she said. “He just wants to meet you!”

Jayden’s response was to bury his face in Finn’s pants. Rey winced.

“I guess it’s a good thing we can’t afford Disneyland!” quipped Finn, always the good sport, even though Rey could tell he was embarrassed.

She turned back to apologize to Ben vocally, but he wasn’t looking in her direction. In fact, he wasn’t looking at anyone. He was standing with his back to them, hunched over with his hands over his face.

In her peripheral, Finn made a puzzled look.

“1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9…10! Ready or not here I come!” called out Ben. He spun around slowly and began to look in all directions. “Hmm, I wonder where Jayden is hiding?” He threw his arms out from his sides. “I just have no idea!” His voice squeaked on the last word.

He did a little hop-run-skip to the closest tree and made a big show out of inspecting all around the trunk.

“Doesn’t look like he’s here!” said Ben. He pulled himself right onto a branch and stood on it like he was on freaking American Ninja Warrior, holding his hand on his forehead and scanning the yard like an overdramatic sailor.

Jayden moved the tiniest bit to the side, just enough to watch cautiously with one eye.

“Jayden is sure good at hiding!” Ben giggled like a child and jumped down. He did his patented frenetic run to the next tree.

Rey had once seen on a nature documentary that the best way to escape an alligator was to run in a zigzag manner. She could only hope that Ben would be with her if by chance she ever encountered an angry alligator.

Jayden now had both eyes exposed as he watched Ben. From afar, Ben pretended to trip over his custom orange high tops, and Jayden giggled.

Then Jayden giggled again, a bit louder, a little forced, a little faked. Finn looked at Rey with a small grin. They both knew that sound. It was what Jayden always did when he wanted to be found in a game of hide and seek. He wasn’t exactly a patient participant.

Ben acted as startled as if he had heard a gun shot.

“I think I _heard_ something!” he cried. He ran around, checking under every bush and plant. Every time Jayden giggled again, Ben dramatically put his hand on his ear.

Finally, Jayden stepped out from his dad and called out, “I’m right here!”

Ben looked at him and clapped his hands on his cheeks. “Well, _there_ you are! You’re the best hider in the world!”

Ben came over and knelt down in front of Jayden and gave him a high five. Finn whipped his phone back out to film and take a million screenshots.

“I’m Kylo Ren. It’s nice to meet you, Jayden. Your aunt told me you like my show,” said Ben, already holding Jayden’s eyes longer than he had ever managed with Rey.

Jayden nodded emphatically.

“How old are you, Jayden?”

“Four.”

“ _Four?!_ That’s soooo old! You’re a very big boy!”

Jayden’s smile grew wider, exposing the front gap that never ceased to melt Rey’s heart.

“I need some help in my garden, and I bet a _big_ four year old could help me. Can you come help me count my flowers?”

“Yeah!”

“Woohoohoohoo!” yelled Ben, fist pumping the air. “I’m _so_ excited! Follow me!” He ran off in the direction of a flowerbed, and Jayden tore after him.

Ben crouched over his plants, identifying each color like there was nothing more interesting on earth. Rey looked over quickly to make sure Finn wasn’t watching her. He was completely focused on his phone’s camera, so she allowed herself to shamelessly ogle the ass that was sticking out in her direction.

Somehow the fact that that ass was connected to a man who was laughing hysterically over the fact that (WOW!) his flowers were yellow couldn’t detract from the picture he made.

It was really a crying shame that he appealed to an audience who could never quite appreciate just how good he looked bent over.

Unable to wipe the smile off of her face, she watched as Ben and Jayden identified and counted all of his flowers, and then moved on to a new flowerbed.

“Can we play hide and seek again?” pleaded Jayden.

Rey crouched down next to him. “Hey, bud, we should probably let Kylo Ren go, okay? He must be so busy!”

Jayden’s face fell. “We have to leave?”

She felt Ben’s eyes on her. “Uh, right,” he said. He focused on Jayden again. “I had so much fun playing with you! But all this fun has made me soooo tired!” He stretched his arms in the air. “Kylo Ren needs a nap!” He lay down in the grass and pretended to snore.

Jayden laughed. “That’s not a bed!”

Ben opened one eye. “It’s _not_? You’re right!” He stood back up. “I better go in to my bedroom!”

Finn put his hands Jayden’s shoulders and had him thank Ben. Ben looked in Finn’s direction and scratched the back of his neck.

“Hey,” said Ben. “It’s, um, fine you took pictures, but I’d prefer you didn’t post them anywhere, seeing as they’re at my house.”

“You got it,” said Finn. He held out his hand, and Ben shook it. “Thank you so much for taking time to come out here. Jayden’s your biggest fan.”

“Daddy, did you send a picture to Rose?”

Rey stiffened.

“No, bud, but I will.”

Ben crouched again to Jayden’s level. “Who’s Rose?”

“She’s Daddy’s special friend. She’s going to be my mommy!”

Rey gasped while Finn blurted, “Buddy! We don’t know that!”

“It’s very new,” added Rey.

Ben looked up at Finn and Rey for a half-second before returning to Jayden. “It’s very exciting to make new friends! I’m happy you’re my friend, too.” He gave Jayden a final high five, and Finn whisked him away.

“Sorry about that,” said Rey, lingering a bit. “Finn having a girlfriend for the first time in years is a lot for Jayden to process.”

Ben looked at her for a long moment and then nodded. “Right. Kids are sensitive to change. But they’re very resilient.” He paused. “It’s us who struggle more.”

Rey felt a bit x-rayed. She shifted on her feet.

“Well…”

“So…”

Rey chuckled. She held out her hand. “You first.”

“It was good to meet you, Rey. I look forward to seeing your article.”

“You’re okay with the photo shoot being at your studio/warehouse?”

“Sure, makes sense.”

Her words came out in a rush. “Maybe, maybe, I should see it too? I don’t know, to enhance my article?”

Ben was looking at the ground, but his lips twitched the slightest amount.

“Yeah, there’s a few things I could show you.”

“My article probably needs it. I mean, it’s crazy not to see your workspace, right?”

“Definitely.”

She smiled. “Well, okay, then, I’ll make sure I come along. You know, just to make sure my article is thorough.”

“I’m sure you’ll do a great job.”

“Thanks again for the interview, and especially with Jayden. You were amazing with him.”

“Sweet kid,” said Ben, smiling a bit.

“He’s the best,” said Rey, smiling herself. She could feel Finn watching expectantly from the car. “Well, you may not actually need a nap, but Jayden might. Finn told me he could barely sleep last night he was so excited. So I guess I’ll see you in a couple days?”

“Yep. See you soon.”

Ben’s hands were shoved deep in his pockets, so she didn’t make any moves to shake his hand or…or who knew what else. She settled on a tiny wave and walked to the car, getting in without looking back.

Finn pulled out and drove off as Jayden chattered endlessly about Kylo Ren before falling asleep mid-sentence. After a minute, Finn turned to her.

“What was that?”

“What?”

“Kylo Ren watching you walk away like he was in a Stephen King film.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Rey, her cheeks warming.

“I’m talking about him staring at you like he wanted to chase you down and carry you into his tower. What exactly happened in that interview of yours?”

“Nothing, just a normal interview.”

“Better watch out before you make millions of horny moms jealous,” said Finn, snickering. He was quiet for a moment. “He’s huge!”

“I know, who knew? He told me he does crossfit every day.”

“Hmm, I wonder why he’d tell you that.” Finn looked over and lifted his eyebrows.

“Shut up, he was just telling me about how he likes that he has a flexible schedule so he can go to his gym. He was a Marine, so it makes sense he likes to stay fit.”

“Fit is one thing, that monster is another. I wonder what he’s hiding under those suspenders.”

“Wow, who’s the horny mom now, Finn?”

Finn laughed. “Are you going to see him again?”

“I will be overseeing his photo shoot in a couple days.”

“That sounds so bad, Rey.”

“You have a dirty mind.”

“I didn’t say it.”

She rolled her eyes. “I don’t know what you like to read on your own time, but the Resistance is a respectable website. We’d lose all our sponsors if we started posting nudes.”

“So respectable that they just produced a video where the cast of _Super Dogs III_ read thirst tweets?”

Rey laughed out loud. “Okay, maybe not that respectable.” She looked over at him. “Wait, did you watch it?”

“Um, no, I saw it on my feed while I scrolled during my break the other day.”

“So you weren’t baited to click? Damn, we’ve gotta up our game.”

They joked for the rest of their drive. Rey was grateful that the subject of Ben never came up again, and was especially pleased that they never talked about Rose.

 

 

 

“Heyyyyyy Mitty,” said Rey on the phone that night.

“Um, hey, Rey,” came Mitaka’s voice. He sounded confused. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just wanted to make sure you’re good to go on the Kylo Ren photo shoot on Tuesday.”

“Uh, yeah, I talked to his assistant earlier. We’re meeting at his office.”

“He has a studio and warehouse there, too. I’m hoping to get some shots of that.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Can I come? I mean, for my article. I’d like to see the space myself.”

“Oh!” Mitaka paused. “You don’t usually come. I mean, it probably won’t be very long. I just take a few pictures, and done, nothing exciting.”

“Well, then, it probably won’t be a big deal to have me along, huh?”

“Okay, I guess.”

“Thanks, Mitty, you’re the best! Just text me the deets!”

She hung up before he could respond and rested against her headboard. She had a screener episode of _The Bachelor: DILF Edition: Reunion: Cast Tells All_ she really needed to watch and recap before it aired, but she found herself pulling up the audio recording of her interview with Ben.

She fell asleep to the sound of his voice.


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Consistent updates brought to you by my three year old potty training for the zillionth time and watching obscene amounts of Blippi.

By the time Tuesday morning rolled around, Rey had confirmed the details of Ben’s photo shoot with her photographer Mitaka so many times that she worried he’d never agree to work with her again.

By some miracle, she had managed to get her other work done and pay some attention to Jayden when he came to stay with her, even as her head floated above the clouds.

(She hadn’t minded when Jayden asked to watch Kylo Ren, either.)

She and Mitaka weren’t getting there until ten, so she set a late alarm and was planning to sleep in a bit. However, she was woken up at seven by her phone ringing.

Blearily, she reached for her phone and answered without looking at the screen.

“Hello?” she croaked.

“Rey!” It was Finn. “Did I wake you up?”

“Um, yeah?”

“Sorry. Hey, I hate to do this, but I really need your help today. I know you had Jayden yesterday, but is there any way you could take him again?”

She frowned. “What’s going on?”

“I just heard from his sitter that she’s been at the ER with her daughter for hours. I guess they have to put her on fluids so they’ll be there all day. The flu or something.”

Jayden spent the days he wasn’t with Rey at an in-home daycare, which was great for Finn financially but hard on days like this.

“Can’t perfect Rose help?”

Finn sighed loud enough she could hear through the phone. “Rey, don’t be a brat. And no, Rose’s sister is home on leave from the Air Force so Rose went to go visit her and her parents for a few days.”

Begrudgingly, she could admit that was as good an excuse as any. “I’m sorry, I’m trying,” she said.

“Are you? Because you rag on her every chance you get. Anyway, we don’t have time to talk about this. Can you take him? Do you have anything you need to go in for? I swear, you can park him in front of the TV all day so you can work.”

Rey paused.

“I have the photo shoot today,” she finally said.

The other line was silent for a moment.

“Crap, Rey, I’m sorry.”

For all her denial, Finn had seen right through her and teased her mercilessly about wanting to get in Kylo Ren’s suspendered pants. He knew she was excited for an excuse to see Ben again.

“I guess I don’t actually have to be there,” she said, her spirits sinking.

“You know I wouldn’t be asking unless I were really desperate. We’re so short staffed right now, and I’m the only employee with kids. I’ve already used up so much time off from when you were at that TV convention and Jayden got sick. I worry that I’ll be on thin ice.” He paused for a moment. “You know how important it is that I keep this job, Rey.”

“Yes, of course I do.”

Finn’s job as a welder provided stability for him and Jayden, as well as the important distraction Finn needed to maintain his sobriety.

“And of course I’ll watch Jayden today.”

“Oh my gosh, thank you, Rey. I really owe you. Maybe you could bring Jayden with you?”

She shook her head. “No, I’ll just stay home. I’ve probably already pushed the lines of professionalism by bringing him the other day.”

“It didn’t seem like he minded. He was amazing with Jayden.”

She swallowed. “Who knows what damage a small child could do to a studio. It’s whatever. Not a big deal. I’ll see you soon.”

She tossed her phone on her nightstand and looked over at where her outfit was laid out, like she was a kindergartner the night before the first day of school. She had even washed and styled her hair the day before so she’d be sporting second-day hair, but it was all over now.

She’d see plenty of Ben today, but he wouldn’t see her.

It was silly to be disappointed. He probably didn’t even see her that way. He was just a nice guy. Somehow, over the past couple of days, she had convinced herself that he had liked her back, but it was very unlikely when she was really honest with herself.

He was a rich, successful, minor celebrity with millions of fans, and she was a low-level clickbait writer with no family to speak of and very few friends.

Eventually, she geared herself up to wait for Jayden, who showed up about twenty minutes later, holding a Darth Vader backpack and a half-eaten piece of toast and flanked by one very guilty-looking Finn. He slipped away quickly while mumbling apologies, leaving Rey to acknowledge that this was really happening.

She sent a text to Mitaka and ignored his surprised response.

 

 

 

 

That afternoon, she was sitting on a park bench while Jayden got some energy out at the playground by her complex. Her phone buzzed with an incoming call from Mitaka.

“Hey,” she said. “How did everything go?”

“Good, got the stuff we wanted. He even had his assistant send me that picture of him in the Marines, like you wanted.”

“Great!” She attempted a chipper tone. “And you got pics of him both in and out of his costume?”

“Yep, got one of him of him in costume, surrounded by boxes of dolls that looked just like him. It was kind of creepy, to be honest.”

She laughed in spite of herself.

“And I got one with him in his street clothes posing with some of the gold awards he’s gotten from YouTube, plus some other random shots. I think you’ll be pleased.”

She was certain she would be.

“Great, send them to my email and I’ll pick out the ones I want.”

“Will do.” Mitaka paused. “I gotta say, he’s nothing like I expected.”

“Tell me about it.”

“I watched maybe five minutes of one of his videos just to get a sense of what it was, and I couldn’t take much more. I would have never guessed he was so shy.”

Mitaka was pretty shy too, so she wondered if the two spoke more than a dozen words to each other the whole time. Hopefully, Ben had staff members there to act as buffers.

“In his office, he had an entire wall of Funko Pops. He’s kind of a weird guy.”

“What are those?”

“You know, those little cartoony bobblehead things people collect? He had like a hundred, lined up on shelf after shelf, all in their boxes. _Star Wars,_ superheroes, video game characters, you name it.”

“Huh.” So Ben was a bit of a nerd. She wished she had gotten to see.

“He asked about you.”

“Really?” She snapped back to attention. “I mean, what about?”

“I don’t know, he seemed kind of disappointed you weren’t there. Like, I told him you couldn’t make it, and he asked why. I told him you had a family emergency.”

“Right.”

“He seemed really concerned, so I just told him it wasn’t anything bad, but you just had something come up.”

“Okay.” She had a million questions she wanted to ask, but she didn’t want to seem too desperate.

“He asked how long we’ve worked together. I wasn’t sure. Couple years, I guess.”

She couldn’t help but grin to herself.

“What happened between you guys during your interview?” continued Mitaka. “We talked for maybe two minutes before we got to work, and it was like all about you. I think he would have kept going if I hadn’t gotten started.”

“Nothing, really. Just normal.”  
“Okay.” He didn’t sound convinced. “Well, maybe you should invest in a new security system.”

“Why does everyone think he’s going to murder me?”

“What?”

“Never mind.”

“Okay. Well, anyway, I’ll send you those files.”

“Thanks, Mitaka.” She hung up and scanned the playground for Jayden before she opened her phone’s browser and googled “funco pop.” The figurines that her misspelled search produced were so dorky and cute that she couldn’t help but smile. She would have asked him about them if she had been there.

She was a pop culture writer, after all. They’d be able to find some common ground.

When she and Jayden got home, she did her usual scrolling through every celebrity Twitter and Instagram account she followed to search for anything newsworthy. With Kylo Ren playing in the living room to a worn out Jayden, she managed to shoot off a quick article (“Chrissy Teigen’s Potty Training Story is So Relatable”).

With that done, she pulled out her notes from her interview with Ben and continued on her article. She was incorporating everything they had discussed, as well as all of the research she had done about YouTube and its content creators in general.

She hated how thoroughly she was prepared to finish this article. She couldn’t think of a single excuse to reach out to Ben without sounding pathetic or desperate.

Her skills as a journalist were biting her in the butt.

Scowling about her general aptitude, she set out to finish the thing.

As she wrote, she allowed herself to dream that Ben would reach out to her. He had her cell number. She didn’t have his.

Finally, her polished, edited article was published.

* * *

 

“Meet Kylo Ren: The Unlikely YouTube Sensation Your Local Toddler Can’t Stop Watching”

_How Does a Former Marine Go From Fighting in Afghanistan to Making Millions Producing Videos for Children?_

By: Rey Niima, Staff Writer, _The_ _Resistance_

* * *

 

Almost immediately, the article started breaking her previous click and share number records. The comment section was a thing to behold, littered with moms discussing Kylo/Ben for better or worse, and confused people unfamiliar with the world of children’s entertainment as it stood in current times.

Her boss Amilyn was thrilled. The article was trending for days, and still got clicks even a week after publication, quite a feat for a website that specialized in producing a never-ending stream of new material for the “right now.”

She got texts from all her coworkers congratulating her on her numbers, especially those who had been in the staff meeting when the topic was presented.

Unsurprisingly, Kaydel had some things to say about the pictures of Ben.

It only depressed Rey. The article had been up for a while, and she hadn’t heard a thing from Ben. His assistant Phasma had sent a quick note expressing the team’s appreciation for the article, but that was it.

So she figured that was that.

Finn congratulated her on the article, but didn’t mention anything else about Ben. She knew he still felt guilty. She tried not to be bitter that Finn had stood in her way of meeting Ben again, reminding herself that if Ben hadn’t reached out in all this time, he had never been interested in the first place.

 

 

 

 

One Sunday afternoon, Rey didn’t have anything going on. She usually took Jayden for a while so Finn could attend Narcotics Anonymous, but today Rose had taken him to the park.

Every single excuse she normally used to avoid exercise was gone. Even the weather was cooperating.

Sighing, she eventually decided to confront the depressing reality that it’s healthy to move one’s body from time to time, and put on her running shorts and shoes. She stood in her doorway, lingering while she laboriously chose a Spotify playlist when her phone rang with an unknown number.

Normally one to screen such calls, she was happy enough to have something to delay her run that she answered.

“Hello?”

“Hey, is this Rey?”

“Yeah.”

“Hi. This is Ben. Ben Solo.”

She snapped to attention. She should have recognized his voice immediately. She had listened to it enough.

“Hey, Ben, what’s up?” She opted for a casual tone, as though gorgeous men she had obsessed over for weeks called her every day.

“I, uh, I just wanted to thank you for the article. You said a lot of really nice things.”

“Oh! You’re welcome. I mostly just repeated the things you said.”

He huffed. “I’m fairly certain you worked a little bit of magic. Anyway, we’ve seen an uptick on our channels, and most importantly, my foundation has seen significantly more web traffic. So I think I have you to thank you for that.”

“I could thank you, too. My boss has been very pleased with me. It’s my most popular article yet.”

“Well, then, I’m extra grateful you didn’t make me look bad.”

“Were you worried I was going to write a nasty hit piece?” Now that the initial shock of hearing from him had worn off a bit, she felt like teasing him.

“Honestly, I didn’t really know what to expect. I’ve tried to steer clear of reporters in the past.”

“Yes, we are a scary bunch.”

He laughed, a sound that warmed Rey up faster than her run would have. She shut her front door and collapsed back into the couch.

“Well,” he said. “I guess I just wanted to say that. I would have texted you, but…”

“Big thumbs, right?”

“Right.” He laughed again. “Thanks for not including that in the article and killing the illusion that I’m behind all of the Kylo Ren social media accounts.”

“Don’t worry, I had your back. All the hot moms tweeting you will continue to think you’re actually interacting with them.”

He didn’t say anything, and Rey delighted in the image of him getting flustered on the other line.

“I saw your new video,” she said, changing the subject before he combusted. “I don’t know if Jayden has ever seen an ice cream truck in real life, but now it’s like his greatest dream to visit one. That song about the toppings was pretty catchy too.”

“Oh, um, glad you liked it.”

“’Like’ is a strong word. I mean, I didn’t hate it.”

“All right, fair enough.” She felt certain she could hear his smile through the phone, and she wished she could see it. “Anyway, sorry to interrupt your afternoon…”

“You didn’t. I was getting ready to go on a run, but I can do that whenever.”

Perhaps never.

“Oh, do you like to run?” His voice perked up.

“…Yes? I mean, I know it’s not _crossfit,_ but you’ve gotta exercise somehow, you know? It’s great to stay fit!”

She cringed. She sounded like she was in a tampon ad.

“Crossfit is not for everyone. Trust me, I was a skinny little punk as a teenager before leaving for basic training. I wouldn’t have lasted five minutes at a gym. It was a good thing that my first drill sergeant was absolutely terrifying.”

“So you’re calling me a skinny little punk?”

“No, no! That’s not what I—”

“It’s okay, I’m just kidding. And between you and me, your drill sergeant did us all a favor.”

He coughed. “Umm…”

“I don’t know if you ventured to the comments section on my article, but there were some pretty appreciative people of the photos Mitaka took.”

“Hey, um, that’s the other thing…” He coughed again. “I also wanted to apologize if I did anything to bother you either during our interview or outside after.”

“Wait…why would you think that?” She wrinkled her brow and thought back through all of their time together, as if she needed to. She had already memorized and overanalyzed every second of their time together.

“You didn’t come to the photo shoot. I worried I had offended you somehow.”

“What? No! I thought Mitaka told you I couldn’t.”

“Right.” He seemed to take a deep breath. “He was kind of vague. I kind of thought that was maybe an excuse. I was so worried I had bothered you somehow. It seems to happen a lot when I meet people. And then your article was so thoughtful, and it’s been driving me crazy this whole time, feeling like I should clear the air.”

“No, it wasn’t like that at all!” Rey was practically bouncing off her seat. “I swear, there was this whole emergency with Jayden’s daycare and Finn was out of time off. And…well…I was actually really disappointed I couldn’t go.”

“You…you were?”

She smiled. “Yeah. I had really been looking forward to seeing you again.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Biting her bottom lip, she added, “You didn’t bother me at all that day we were together. In fact, I had a really good time.”

“You did?” He sounded almost hopeful, and it gave her the boost she needed to keep going.

“You know,” she said. “I’ve spent a lot of time agonizing over that interview, too. See, I was hoping I’d get to see you again and see if I had just imagined things… you know, between us.” She bit her lip again, harder, and squeezed her eyes shut, willing herself to breathe as silence filled the air.

The silence continued until she was on the verge of destroying her phone and living underground when Ben spoke up.

“You didn’t imagine things, Rey.”

“No?” Her voice was embarrassingly breathy.

“No.”

“Well then,” she started, finding it hard to speak through her smile that exploded on her face. “Maybe we should have that second meeting, you know, just to be sure. The imagination can be a fickle thing.”

“That’s probably wise. What were you thinking?”

Grateful that he wasn’t turned off by her terrible flirting, she twirled her ponytail in her finger as she tried to think of a coy response.

“I think it’s up to you,” she said. “After all, I set up our first meeting. It’s only fair you handle our second.”

He chuckled. “Ok then. Soooo, would you object to meeting tomorrow night? Maybe for dinner?”

He might not have sounded so nervous if he had been able to see that her face was going to split in half if she didn’t manage to temper her smile.

“Dinner sounds perfect.”

“I’ll text you.”

“Really? You think you can manage that?”

“For you, I’ll figure it out. Well, I won’t keep you any longer. Enjoy your run, Rey.”

“I will. Bye, Ben.”

“Good-bye Rey.”

She hung up and sank into her cushions. Filled with excited energy, she easily selected a happy playlist from the “moods” section of Spotify and bolted out the door.

She looked like one of those weirdly cheerful runners she usually scowled at when she saw them jog down the street.

Maybe she’d start giving them the benefit of the doubt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm hard at work on the next chapter, which will wrap this story up. Then I'll be out of WIPs! What will I do?
> 
> *In my "research" for this story, I discovered that the real life Blippi has a big wall of Funko Pops in his office, so obviously that had to make it in here.


	5. Chapter Five

[Outgoing Message | 9:11 AM]: **_Finn please try really hard to pick up Jayden on time today. I have plans tonight._**

[Finn | 9:52 AM]: **_Since when do you have plans?_**

[Outgoing Message | 9:54 AM]: **_I have plans sometimes you jerk_**

[Finn | 9:54 AM]: **_Not really, but fine. I’ll be there._**

[Finn | 9:54 AM]: **_Wait are these plans of the male variety_**

[Finn | 9:56 AM]: **_REY_**

[Outgoing Message | 9:57 AM]: **_I’m not giving you anything_**

[Finn | 9:57 AM]: **_THEY ARE_**

****

 

Right at 5:15 PM, Rey heard a knock on her door.

“All right! Daddy’s on time!” she called out to Jayden, who was sitting with his backpack already completely packed, waiting.

She pulled open her door and was met with Rose.

“Hey, Rey,” she said, taking a step in. “Finn was worried he’d be late, so he sent me.”

Rey held onto her door.

“I appreciate you coming,” she said. “But it’s okay. I can wait for Finn so the little guy won’t be without a car seat.”

“Oh! I’ve got one,” said Rose. “I’ve had to pick him up a few times from daycare so I figured I better get the setup!”

“Oh. Um, great!”

Rose stepped into the kitchen and bent down to greet Jayden. He jumped up and gave her a hug. When they let go, Rose looked back at Rey.

“Soooo, Finn told me you have a date,” she said, grinning mischievously.

“I didn’t say that,” retorted Rey. “Just an outing.”

“Look, I promise I won’t tell Finn anything.”

Rey looked down at Jayden, who had grabbed an action figure out of his backpack pocket and wasn’t paying any attention.

“Okay,” she hissed. “It’s a date. But please don’t tell him.”

Rose came closer and lowered her voice. “Who’s it with?”

“Umm…just someone I know through work. But Finn knows him so I really don’t want him to know about it. I’m afraid it won’t pan out.”

“At least tell me where you’re going,” pleaded Rose.

“We’re getting dinner at The Summit _.”_

Rose’s eyes widened. “It’s someone you know from work? What, does he _own_ the company? Damn, girl, what are you going to wear?”

Rey tilted her head in the direction of her bedroom and led Rose in. Hanging on her closet door was the navy blue v-neck cocktail dress she had been lucky to find the evening before at Nordstrom Rack. She had jumped in her car and driven there as soon as Ben had suggested the restaurant and she had spent all of two minutes Googling it.

“You are going to look so hot!” cried Rose. “It’s perfect. Your secret Mr. Moneybags is going to lose his mind.”

Rey couldn’t help but smile. “You like it? I wasn’t sure. I’ve never been to a place like this.”

“I’m sure he won’t be able to keep his eyes off you, and that’s the most important thing.”

“That’s kind of the hope,” admitted Rey. “Actually…” She took a deep breath. “I could use your expert opinion. What should I do with my hair?”

Rose’s day job was a hairdresser, and now that she was here, Rey figured she might as well use her.

Rose looked elated.

“Could I just do it for you?” she asked. “I mean, if that’s okay with you. I’d love to help.”

“Yes.” _Desperate_ _times_ , and all that. “Please work your magic.”

They made sure Jayden was settled before Rose plugged in Rey’s straightener, tsking away that she wished she had known so she could have brought her tools from the salon. As she separated Rey’s hair into sections, Rose chatted lightly about the various clients she had had that day.

It was oddly soothing to Rey’s coiled nerves.

“I’m not keeping you from anything, am I?” she asked.

“Oh, no, not at all,” responded Rose. “I had figured I’d make us all dinner at Finn’s, but I just told him to make it instead. And I’m not working tonight.” Her hands stilled. “Actually, I’m thinking about quitting my bartender gig. It will make things a little tight, but it feels weird to work there with Finn’s background. Now that we’re getting more serious, I feel like it’d be good if I just set that part of my life aside. You know, show him that I’m supportive of his recovery.”

Rey didn’t say anything, but nodded a little.

“So anyway,” continued Rose after an awkward silence, “there was this lady last week who wanted a buzz cut, which is like, whatever, you do you, but she had waist-length hair…”

A little while later, Rey had to admit that Rose had done an incredible job. Her hair fell in perfect waves to her shoulders, a look she never could have achieved on her own. Rose had even insisted on helping with her makeup, and ran out to her car to grab her favorite lipstick that she kept “for emergencies.” Rey put on her dress and couldn’t help but be pleased with the final result.

Completely satisfied, Rose gathered up a whiny, hungry Jayden and headed for Rey’s front door.

“Hey, Rose, wait!” called Rey.

Rose turned around.

“Just…thanks.”

Rose nodded and smiled. “Have a great time. And I promise--” She closed her mouth tight and mimicked zipping her lips together before guiding Jayden through the door.

Rey had little left to do with her nervous energy. She grabbed her shoes and purse and made sure she was packed with wallet, mints, keys, and Rose’s lipstick. Sinking into a kitchen chair, she picked up her phone and scrolled through Instagram, not really taking anything in.

Once she was simultaneously bursting with anticipation and also completely unready, a timid knock sounded on her door. She stood, smoothed out her skirt, and took a calming breath.

She breezily swung open her door like she was completely accustomed to wealthy gentleman callers and took a second to appreciate the one on her doorstep.

He was slightly hunched over, clutching a bouquet of yellow daisies with both hands, like a bride, or a corpse. His eyes lifted from the flowers and met hers, briefly, before they lowered and took in her outfit. He flicked his eyes up quickly from her bit of exposed thigh, making her grin.

“Do you want to come in?” She opened her door wider.

He stepped in, needlessly ducking a bit. It was probably just habit for him by now. He held out the flowers.

“These are for you,” he said.

She bit back a playful quip about him pointing out the obvious and decided she’d let the poor guy off the hook a bit.

She offered him her best smile as she took the bouquet. His hands empty now, he stuck them in his suit pants pockets.

What a suit it was.

And what a man to be wearing it.

She was blessed, truly.

“You look really beautiful,” he said, staring at her.

“You don’t look too bad yourself,” she replied, attempting to look confident even as she spouted a line borrowed from bad romcoms. “Thank you for these. I love daisies. Mind if I put them in water?”

She turned to her cupboards and stilled.

“I don’t think I have a vase,” she said. “I’ve, uh, never gotten flowers before.”

“Sorry if it’s weird or not really a thing.” He sounded uncomfortable, and she glanced back to see him rub the back of his neck. “My, um, my mom said I should bring them.”

She made sure she was well hidden behind her open cupboard so she could properly smile at the idea of this sexy rich giant seeking dating advice from his mother.

“No, no, it’s awesome,” she said once she had collected herself a bit. “It’s really sweet. I’ll just use this.” She pulled out a tall glass tumbler and busied herself filling it at the sink. “So does your mom still own the daycare?”

“Oh, no, she sold it once my channel took off a bit. She helps me with my videos now, especially the more educational ones. She calls herself my ‘Creative Consultant.’”

“Ooh, sounds official.” She smiled at him as she placed the flowers in the glass.

“Yes, she thinks so.”

“There.” She stuck the pseudo-vase on her counter and admired having fresh flowers for the first time. “They’re lovely.”

“I’m glad you like them.” He shifted a little. “Should we go?”

Eagerly, she grabbed her purse and walked out the door. His fingers lightly brushed against her lower back as he followed, but then stopped like he had snapped them back.

He led her down to his sleek black car and helped her in, where she admired all the screens, buttons, bells, and whistles that she’d seen in car commercials but never expected to actually see in a real car.

He climbed in and gestured at his touchscreen.

“I want you to be comfortable so please tell me if something’s off. We can change the temperature, turn on the seat warmers, whatever you need.” He turned the car on with a button and put his hand on the gear shift, clutching it tightly.

She laid her hand on top of his gently, making him look over at her.

“I’m just fine.” She smiled. “And I’m really happy that you called. I’ve been looking forward to this.”

His lips twitched a bit. He flipped his hand over and squeezed hers, making her stomach flutter.

“Yeah, yeah, me too.” He gave her another squeeze and let go so he could back out.

As he drove, she chattered about some of the various reactions she had gotten to the article. He laughed when she told him about how many people expressed shock to hear that he was shy and quiet in real life.

“That does tend to throw people off,” he said, smirking at her. “I think I’d hate myself if I acted like Kylo all the time.”

After a while, he admitted he’d read some of her other articles. She covered her face.

“I get it, it’s not super high class stuff. I don’t exactly write for _The Economist_.”

“No, no, it was good! I had never before considered ranking the Disney princes based on who I’d most want at my side during a zombie apocalypse, but if I had, I think I’d have to agree with you that the guy from _Mulan_ would be my top pick.”

She laughed heartily. “Right? You need a man who can fight.”

“With plenty of weapons at the ready.”

“You know, it was actually kind of controversial. A few commenters pointed out that he’s not actually a prince. So, you know, some journalists inspire political discourse, and I set off arguments about Disney prince semantics.”

Ben smiled. “I won’t even bother sharing the kinds of things people say about every video I post, because from what you told me about the response to your article, you’ve heard it all now.”

“Yeah, and every single thing I post, there’s always some smartass commenter who has to point out that it’s not ‘real news.’” She shook her head. “Maybe this isn’t exactly what I pictured when I first started studying journalism, but it’s fun and I think it makes people happy to not have to read depressing news all day.”

Ben looked over for a moment before returning his eyes to the road. “Trust me, I’ve seen enough terrible things in my life to make me want to talk about nothing but frivolous things until I die.”

“Well, then…” She turned and grinned at him. “Who do you think is the hottest Disney princess?”

He chuckled and rubbed his neck. “Ummmmm, I think I’d have to say Belle.” He looked over at her and smiled. “I like brunettes.”

 

 

 

The Summit was situated on a ritzy hilltop that overlooked downtown Chandrila and the river that ran through it, surrounded by other upscale restaurants and apartment complexes. They pulled right up to the front under a large awning, where Ben helped Rey out and handed his keys off to a valet.

They were seated quickly near a large window with a killer view. Ben asked her input before ordering a bottle of some kind of wine. As they waited, Rey pretended to scan her menu even though she had spent significant time studying it online over the past day. It was the type of menu that inexplicably had no dollar signs and featured entrees that were only listed as “market price.”

When he noticed her reading, Ben offered up a couple of the dishes he thought were especially good.

“Is this where you bring all your dates?” As soon as the words came flying out of her mouth, she wanted to leap straight through the fancy gold-paned window.

Across from her, Ben fidgeted with his cloth napkin. “Um, I don’t really go on a lot of dates, so no. But I have brought my mom here for the past couple Mother’s Days.”

“Oh.” Rey was still embarrassed, but also a little relieved. “I don’t go out much, either.”

He looked right at her. “I find that hard to believe.”

“Well, likewise!” She gestured at him. He shook and ducked his head, but he couldn’t hide the tiny smile that crept onto his face.

“So you and your mom must be pretty close, then.”

“We are now, yes,” he said. “But it took a while. She was busy a lot while I was growing up, and I was a pretty angsty teen. Honestly, the fact I’m even alive now is a testament to her patience. It’s better now. It’s good.”

She asked him more questions about his family and his years growing up. He did seem like a punk teen, and she had no problem telling him so. He never offered up details about his dad, so she didn’t ask, even though she was curious.

But, she hoped they’d have a chance in the future.

They had already ordered their food by the time Ben turned the tables on her.

“What about you?” He looked right at her. “Forgive me, but I sort of got the impression from our first meeting that family may be a painful subject for you. But if you’d like to share, I’d love to learn more about you.”

“The only family I have is Finn and Jayden, really.”

“But Finn’s not…” Ben looked horrified with himself, and shifted around in his seat. He took a gulp of wine, and Rey laughed at his discomfort. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t know if I’m allowed to…”

“It’s okay,” she said. “I think you’re allowed to point out that he’s black and I’m white without being racist.”

He took another drink and she laughed again.

“You’re right. Finn’s not really my brother, not even through adoption. We were both raised in the foster system. I was…abandoned by my parents as a child, and then spent the rest of my growing up years in various homes. Finn and I lived in the same home for over four years, from the time I was 10 to 14. It was a good home, the best either of us ever had. We called ourselves siblings. It felt like a family. Then our foster mom got sick, and we had to move.”

She paused, and he didn’t say anything, just watched her carefully. She appreciated that he didn’t interject, letting her go at her pace.

“I went to another foster home, to a man who paid me very little attention, which was great with me. By then I had become obsessed with an article I had read about how few foster kids went to college, and school became my focus. I was so determined to beat the odds and finish school, and, I did.”

Ben smiled at her and nodded encouragingly.

“Thankfully, I had a caseworker who helped me find every single scholarship available to kids in the system. It’s maybe the only time that being a foster child ever actually helped me.”

Finally, Ben spoke. “And Finn?”

She swallowed. “They couldn’t find a placement for Finn, so he ended up at a group home. He got in with a bad group there and starting drinking and other things to deal with parts of his past. Eventually, he ran away and I lost track of him.”

Tears started collecting in her eyes, and she tried to will them away. She remembered the years of not knowing what had become of him, and the guilt of having things line up for her when she was certain he was struggling, or possibly even dead.

“I’m sorry,” she said, dabbing very carefully in the corner of her made-up eye with her napkin. “This isn’t very good first date material.”

Ben reached out and took her free hand.

“Ah,” he said. “Here I was thinking this was our second meeting. And I already broke protocol by telling you that I had PTSD within maybe ten minutes of meeting you.” He rubbed her hand gently with his thumb. “I want to know every part of you that you’re willing to share.”

She nodded gratefully, and he let go. His hand landed on the table next to his plate, like he wasn’t sure what to do with it.

She knew he’d understand if she changed the subject, maybe brought up Disney princesses again, commented on the amazing bread bowl, the view, anything. But his eyes were so kind, and his touch had been so warm, that she felt herself sharing things she had never talked about with anyone.

“I finally tracked him down when I was in college. He was living rough, basically homeless, and using. He had this girlfriend, well, actually, girlfriend is too strong a term. He had knocked up some girl, but he was trying to be there for her. Even at his toughest times, Finn was a really good guy.

“He moved into my apartment and I tried to help him quit using and find a job. We both helped Jayden’s mom. She made it to most of her doctor’s appointments, but we knew she still used sometimes. It’s honestly such a miracle, one I’m thankful for every day, that Jayden hasn’t suffered more as a result.”

She sniffled and dabbed at her nose. It wasn’t classy, but she didn’t know what else to do.

“When Jayden was born, his mom bounced. Just checked out of the hospital. That’s the last either of us have heard from her. Thankfully, Finn was able to bring Jayden home. We got lucky. We were worried the state would try to take him first. But even so, Finn was trying to get on his feet, and now we had this newborn we had no idea how to take care of. I was still a student. It was really hard.

“I am so proud of Finn. He managed to get sober, step up, and get a job, and then eventually got a better one as a welder through a guy in his NA group. That’s what he’s doing now, and he has room for growth in the future. And Jayden is such a great kid. I mean, you saw.”

Ben nodded. She smiled as she remembered the two of them together, and wiped at her eyes again.

“I gathered that Finn is seeing someone?” Ben asked it slowly, carefully, like he was defusing a bomb.

She nodded. “A girl named Rose. They’ve been together for a few months now. It’s his first girlfriend, or anything, since Jayden’s mom.”

Ben reached out and took her hand again. “I imagine that’s hard for you.” His voice was soft and understanding.

Suddenly, it was like a dam inside of Rey had broken, and she wasn’t just tearing up, she was actually crying. Here, on a first date, in the fanciest restaurant she had ever seen. She nodded over and over as the tears fell down her cheeks. Ben never let go of her hand.

“I’m so sorry,” she managed to get out. “Everyone here must think you’re a dick, like you just killed my puppy or you’re dumping me or something.”

“I don’t care about anyone here,” he said. “Just you.”

She tried to take some breaths and wipe her face with her napkin. She winced when she saw the black marks on the clean white cloth. She didn’t even want to know what she looked like.

“Finn and Jayden are the only family I have in this world. I never had a chance to make a lot of friends in school, since I was always studying or helping Finn. I mostly work at home. If I lose them, I’ll have no one left.”

“Why do you think you’d lose them?”

“They’ll be this perfect little family, and Jayden will have a mom, and they won’t need me anymore. I’ll just be cut out.”

“Are you worried about Rose being part of their family?” As he spoke, he rubbed her wrist again.

“No, that’s the worst part.” The tears started up again. “Rose is a really great person. She’s really nice, and has been so great with Jayden, and he just adores her, and Finn is so happy.”

Ben didn’t say anything for a long time. She eventually calmed down and let her head hang.

“I know,” she said lowly. “I’m a terrible person.”

“Rey.” Ben reached out his second hand and grasped her hand with both of his, firmly. “You’re not a terrible person. Everything you’ve told me speaks to that. But...” He paused. “We both know I don’t need to tell you that Rose being a good person is not a bad thing.”

“I know.”

“Listen. I was a lonely kid. My parents weren’t around a ton, and I didn’t have a lot of friends. I would have been lucky to have both a loving mom _and_ a loving aunt. If there’s something I’ve learned working so much with kids over the past few years, it’s that they have a lot of love to give. And that they’re better off the more love they’re getting.”

She looked at him.

“I think,” he continued, his words slow and thoughtful, “that you are not giving yourself enough credit, thinking that Finn and Jayden’s love for you is based on their need for you. You’ve been a huge part of their lives, and maybe they have needed you in the past, but now maybe they can just love you for being you, and being special to them. In some ways, Finn is able to date and be happy because of the place he’s in, a place you’ve helped him get to. That’s never going to just disappear.”

She thought about that for a minute. She had spent so many years worrying about the time when they wouldn’t need her that she had never considered a time that they would just _want_ her.

“I guess…I guess I’ve never really felt wanted before,” she said.

Ben’s eyes looked sad. He lifted her hand and pulled it to him, leaning in to kiss it softly.

“That’s a shame,” he said, setting her hand back down.

They were quiet for a couple of minutes. Ben nibbled on the salad that the waiter brought as Rey attempted to clean herself up a bit with her reverse phone camera.

“Thank you for listening,” she said, once she set her phone back down and picked up her fork to eat her own salad.

“Thank you for sharing.” He smiled at her. “And I was thinking, and I hope you don’t think I’m overstepping here.”

She shook her head a little and gestured for him to continue.

“But I was thinking that you maybe haven’t looked at the ways that Finn dating someone good for him is also good for you. I mean, how old were you when you tracked down Finn?”

“Um, we were twenty.”

“Twenty.” Ben sank back in his seat. “That’s so young. When I was twenty, I was sure lucky that the US government was telling me exactly where to be and when to be there. I have no idea what I would have been up to.” He smiled at her. “Like I said, I was really the worst.”

She laughed softly.

“That was a lot of responsibility for you to take at such a young age, with no outside support for either of you. It’s amazing, and admirable. But now that Finn is in such a good place, maybe it’s time you allowed yourself to step back a bit. Let someone else fill those roles a bit, to be Finn’s significant other, to be Jayden’s mother. And then you can be the sister and the aunt.”

Rey considered his words. She thought about Rose talking about helping Finn stay sober, and how she’s had a bit more free time now that Rose helped with Jayden, and also about – if she admitted it – the fun she had had with her that afternoon. Maybe having Rose around could be a good thing for all of them.

“I won’t be Jayden’s favorite anymore,” she said, pouting.

Ben laughed. “Maybe yes, maybe no, but like I said, kids have a lot of love to give. You just need to find the thing that’s special for you and him, and make it yours. He’ll always come to you.”

Rey wrapped her fingers around her water glass and took a little sip, staring up at him. “How are you so smart?” she asked.

Ben sat back and pretended to ponder the question very seriously. Finally, he looked right at her.

“YouTube.”

 

  

 

Thankfully, their dinner conversation never ventured into the dark and depressing again. Rey enjoyed every minute she was with him, and the food, of course, was divine. Finally, the time came when Ben paid the bill before she could even make a peep, and led her out of the restaurant onto the glitzy street.

She noticed with delight that his hand was resting more confidently on her back as they walked out. Instead of going to the valet, he asked if she wanted to take a walk. The air was getting a little cooler, and Ben offered her his jacket the way she had seen on all of her silly reality dating shows time and time again.

But she didn’t mind that it was cliché. This was Ben, and he seemed genuinely concerned for her well-being. It also didn’t hurt that his jacket was warm, coming straight off his body, and smelled faintly like whatever cologne he must have put on. It made her want to wrap herself in the source of all those sensations and just breathe in.

Instead, she just reached for his hand. They both laughed at her attempt, which was foiled by her too-long sleeve. She pushed it up and tried again, her hand fitting perfectly in his.

She was floating. It was the perfect date, the kind she had only ever dreamed up or seen on TV, cunningly crafted by producers. Of course, she had never pictured having a complete emotional breakdown, but she had to admit that it made things even better. She had shared so much of herself, laid her broken pieces in front of him, and here he was, still holding her hand.

Their conversation stayed light as they strolled down the street, taking in the lights and sounds in the spring night air. Eventually, they reached a more secluded spot, and Rey spun to face him. Before she could talk herself out of it, she spoke.

“Ben,” she said. “Please don’t make me wait weeks to hear from you again.”

He looked down at her and pulled her hand in to his chest. She could feel his heart beating.

“Is tonight too soon?”

Rey smiled, and her smile turned into a laugh, and Ben smiled too.

“Tonight is perfect.”

He released her and used both of his hands to smooth her hair back. His thumbs were shaky as they framed her face. Carefully, he tilted her head back. Her breath stilled as he lowered himself inch by inch until his lips brushed against her jaw.

“I don’t think I could wait much longer,” he whispered.

She pulled up onto her toes and kissed him gently on his perfect lips. He slid one of his hands down through her hair and placed it under his jacket, pulling her closer as he kissed her back.

She was right that the comfort of his real body was better than his jacket could ever be. She reveled in her feelings of warmth and safety as he wrapped both arms around her, kissing her like there was nothing in the world that could stop him. Her hands worked their way into his soft hair, and he shivered against her.

Sometimes he’d stop, pull back, and just smile at her, before leaning in to kiss her again.

A new, unfamiliar, welcome feeling crept into her heart.

She felt wanted.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

In the end, it didn’t matter who Finn dated. Rey got replaced as Jayden’s favorite anyway.

“Uncle Kylo!” cried Jayden, as he yanked open their front door to let Ben and Rey in.

“Hey, buddy!” Ben picked Jayden right up and flipped him over, holding him upside-down by his legs. Ben pretended to look around, confused. “Aunt Rey, are we at the wrong house? I thought we were coming to see Jayden, but all I see is Upside-Down Jayden.”

Jayden giggled and squirmed in Ben’s strong grip.

“It’s me! It’s me!”

Ben flipped him back over and set him down carefully.

“Uncle Kylo, come see my new Legos!” Jayden ran in the direction of his bedroom, and Ben followed.

It had taken a while for Jayden to accept that the giant man who was Rey’s special friend was also his hero. Ben even wore his orange glasses for a while any time Jayden was around to help with the confusion. Eventually, Jayden managed to figure out that Ben and Kylo were one and the same, but he never believed anyone that his real name was Ben. So Uncle Kylo he became.

Rey wandered into the kitchen, where Rose and Finn were cooking.

“It’s like I’m not even here,” she attempted to complain, but she was given away by her smile as she gazed affectionately in the direction of Ben’s and Jayden’s excited voices.

“You guys are totally having like ten kids,” said Rose.

“I don’t know about ten,” said Rey. Her smile grew a bit. “But some, yes.”

“Don’t even act like that guy is not going to knock you up with triplets on the first go-round,” said Rose. She pointed at Jayden’s door. “Right there is a man with some serious virility.”

Finn’s face turned into a comical grimace. “Can we talk about anything other than another man’s _virility?”_

Rose shrugged. “I’m just saying. Look at him!”

“And I’m just saying I’d prefer that you _didn’t.”_

“How about you guys tell me how the wedding is coming?” piped in Rey, fighting a blush. “Oh, I forgot to tell you that Ben is having some new rose bushes put in near where the altar will go.”

“He doesn’t need to do that,” said Rose. “It’s already nice enough he’s letting us use his backyard.”

“Well, he wants to. It’s going to look really lovely.”

The three talked wedding details for a few more minutes until Jayden came into the kitchen, clutching a Dr. Seuss book.

“Aunt Rey, will you read with me?”

Ben stepped in. “I thought maybe he’d read a bit to me, but of course he told me he will only read with his Aunt Rey.” He gave her a soft smile.

“All that work you’ve done with him is really paying off,” said Finn. “His teacher says he’s well ahead of the curve.”

Rey grinned. She led Jayden to the couch and he curled into her side. They opened his book and took turns reading. In the distance, she could see Ben sit at the kitchen table to chat with Finn and Rose.

All snuggled together in Finn’s tiny apartment, it felt like home.

She was here with her family, and she was loved, and there was nowhere she would rather be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! This has been a blast interacting with all of you.
> 
> If you liked this, you can check out my other works. They're all very tonally similar. Or you can follow me on twitter or tumblr (dawninthemtn) for any updates if I cook up another story!


End file.
